OMG! They Still Make Good Kids©
By
Joseph P Dougan
The following story is a local human interest. I had posted it on a couple of closed neighborhood sites. The stories can’t be forwarded without a lot of copy&paste. I had a couple of requests to make the story more widely available, so I am putting on my substack site. I think you will like it.
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A week ago from last Sunday I noticed someone on the security cam video walking to the front door and ring the doorbell. Figuring it was a Spectrum saleman or somesuch, I delayed my departure figuring they would probably leave before I got up. It takes me a while to get out of the electric recliner. Persistent, this person didn’t leave. As it turned out I was being visited by an alien from another planet.
This well disguised alien represented himself to be a young man from PHS looking to do yard work. He was raising money to pay for a HS band trip this spring. He plays the bass trombone. Looking at our disheveled hedge line, he figured we’d be an easy mark. Still, I’ve not had much luck with the local HS workers, but this Martian seemed sincere and was most convincing. I told him to come back when the wifey-horticulturalist was home. I was sure she had a multitude of projects they could address.
When Sheila got home I told her that a Colton Erlandson would be returning to talk about trimming the hedges etc.
“Who’s he?”
“I don’t know … some Martian who looks like he should be an Eagle Scout looking for work to go on a HS band trip.” [fyi: he is an Eagle Scout]
Sheila hired him and Colton meticulously trimmed the hedges and weeded around the flower beds. In the process of their conversations, my wife told him we were having an old scruffy pine tree felled.
Colton said, “I can do that.” He reported he had cut trees down before and quoted her a price.
Initially, I rejected the idea, with a caveat that I would prefer that his parents knew the magnitude and hazards of the project before I consented. Colton said his dad would be there to supervise. I gave the go-ahead.
I watched undisturbed football to quietest chainsaw I’d ever heard. I went out between games to see that their chain saw wouldn’t start. They took the tree down the old fashion way with an ax and saw.
I went out to review the process during halftime of the second game to see that there was a horrendous miscommunications on what we expected with the stump. Sheila had told him to cut it level with the ground. Colton thought it best to remove the stump, which he did with a severe amount of effort.
Before he is awarded his Paul Bunion merit badge, 😊 I expect he will research the concept of taproots before he takes on that kind of project again. 😊 Colton is a perfectionist, so I guess he’ll mark this one up as lessons-learned. 😊
We still have some minor projects for him to help us with, and we made a pretty good dent in his band trip objective, but he’s still looking for more work.
If you have projects around the house that you need help with, especially if you are older like Sheila and I, this is a golden opportunity to get them addressed by the most conscientious and professional student I’ve met.
Call or text Colton Erlandson @ xxx-xxx-xxxx
P.S. The Erlandson’s have someone for which they can be extremely proud.
Wow, you really found a good one. You sweet disposition must be known in the neighbourhood. Any chance you can send him up to Wisconsin? Loved your story.